1. wtf?

yeah, we know. the ride gets wilder and wilder.

2. what are you doing? selling emails or something?

We are offering a mintable nft - the Assmail token - which entitles the holder to a single email address associated with that token. If you're the winner with "cake@"ass.com", then you just need to connect to our site with that token in your wallet to send/receive emails with that address. If you get bored, you can transfer the token, which entitles the new holder to access that email account. The account's data and inbox are wiped when transfers take place.

3. how much for an email address, and how long can i use it for?

To mint an nft that enables email address access, you'll need 0.03 ETH + gas fees. If the addresses sell out (Satan-willing), you can get access to an address by having an Assmail token transfered to you.

The nfts you mint are yours 'til kingdom come. "@ass.com" email address access is guaranteed for 12 months following launch, with extensions at minting milestones. Details to follow.

4. can i choose my own address? like "parmesan@ass.com"?

Yes. When minting, you decide what address you want your Assmail token to contain. Programming this was a giant pain in the ass... I don't think anyone else has done it before.

5. wait, so i can mint any phrase i want?

No hate-speech allowed. Swears and curses are fine. Slurs and calls to violence are not. Seriously - you won't get a refund.

6. who are you and why are you doing this?

We're a pack of relentless self-promoters. We're an affront to good taste and decency.

We're from New York and we want to start a sustainable energy company. There are three of us. I'm tom and I went to public school.

7. how are you different from other nft shills?

Good question. In some ways, we aren't. In these ways, we are:

First, it's a verbal project - we're not selling procedural renderings of a billionaire or clean drawings of a stoned porcupine or some insipid shit like that. Instead, we offer a few hand-drawn fonts and access to an email address that might make your cousin laugh.

Second, we don't promise a return on "investment". We approach nft shills with skepticism. You should too.

Third, no one (and I mean no one) has a domain name as good as ours.

8. why ass.com?

For fifteen years, ass.com was parked. This means no one was using it for anything exciting. We changed that.

I hope you have fun. Just trying to make you smile.